Thursday, August 17, 2006

The Sad Decline Of Scotland Can Be Measured in Pan Drops

Over the years, we Scots have grown used to the decline of manufacturing industry. We no longer make ships, or cars, or watches, or anything very much. But I fear that the decline of the country has gone too far with the news that production of McOwan's toffee and Millar's pan drops is to cease. In my childhood, the "penny chew" was a currency greater than money, and if it was to blame for a great many of my dental problems in later life, I can at least comfort myself with the thought that my gums had a good time along the way. The end of the pan drop, however, is even more worrying. My adult life has been measured in the sucking of these peppermint ovals. The average church service is two and a half pan drops long, if you suck. A committee meeting of the Peebles Showboaters can require as many as six. I cannot conceive of a life without pan drops. They are the perfect Calvinist treat, more bitter than sweet, and deceptively smooth, with great benefits for the digestive system.


Learson said...

No more Highland Toffee it seems. We must take comfort, then, in the yeoman-like efforts of Lees Foods chairman, the sprightly septuagenarian, Raymond Miquel, to regenerate the house of macaroon bars. I dont suppose his back to basics approach would include a Sixties redux advertising campaign focussed on 'piccaninnies and grandpapas' (it's Lees for luscious Macaroon Bars).

Anyway, Mr Miquel, a former head of the Bell's whisky firm and as shrewd an old bird as ever signed a Scottish Plc Annual Report, might bid for the McCowan's and Pandrops brands unencumbered by physical assets and resuscitate the comestibles.

Anonymous said...

I am sad only by the nostalgia: in fact I was always afraid of Pan Drops, as they seemed to be the exact size and shape of one's aesophogus, and it seemed to be an undignified (if minty) way to die

Anonymous said...

"Over the years, we Scots have grown used to the decline of manufacturing industry. We no longer make ships, or cars, or watches, or anything very much"

You've got that right, scotland could once take solace in the fact it contributed to the greatness of Great Britain, and was a worthy consentient of a greater isle dominated by England. However, scotland no longer has anything to be proud of, except for urban decay, racism, and unemployment. This is why I wonder, why do so many scots like you take any pride in the place you come from, that narrow minded, insular, hateful nation? And why do you bare such racist hatred (or more accurately, jealousy) for the English? It wouldn’t be a problem if your nation admitted it had simply seen out its use and had been reduced to a giant call centre, like my native Liverpool in many ways. But your not, you still walk round with chips on your shoulders with an envious, racist eye turned toward the only great nation left on these Fair Isles, still celebrating the few battles you won against us over 700 years ago, and it irritates me no end. What motivates your dislike for the English? Is it our apparent high handedness? Our supposed snobbery? Or is it just that seed within Scottish people that knows England has always been far greater than their own country, and they don’t like it. What’s worse, if we reciprocated the sheer institutionalised racism scots have for Englishmen, there would be outrage. The SNP allowed great popularity in scotland; it’s looked upon favourably as healthy nationalism, when it’s really no better than the bigots of the BNP

I never had a problem with Scots, or even Celts in general, with my dad being Irish. However, when I realised the hatred the Welsh, Irish and Scottish have for our nation for no other real reason than jealousy it lowered my estimation of the Celtic peoples.

I want to know why you don’t like us, why some of you want to be independent, and were the source of your twisted pride has come from?

If only Edward Longshanks was around now…

Anonymous said...

You are the biggest, racist, bigoted, colonial, lost, archaic and pathetic numbnuts I have ever heard

You have been on this planet for 70 odd years or whatever and you have learned abso nothing of even why or what you are - so do the Americans hate the English for what they have - ha ! I think not, a sad pathetic remnant desperately clinging onto a bygone age and at the beck and call of USA ?

You embarass us all on this island

Why don't you let go of the past and perhaps you will begin to learn why nobody likes you

Anonymous said...

I agree.. all Scottish people are, are nasty hateful bigots. The sooner you get your 'independence', the better.