Tuesday, March 28, 2006

A Microwaveable Solution To Cold Hands, If Not Global Warming Or Bearded Ladies


I do not possess as a microwave oven, as I have always taken the view that if a pie is worth eating, it is worth waiting for, and I am sure it is only a matter of time before we discover that the habit of bombarding food with weird energy is unhealthy, if not directly to blame for the increased appearance of people with six toes, second heads, or bald, bearded ladies in the greater Borders region. However, I was encouraged by this device, a magical mitten warmer, and I intend to construct one and heat it in a conventional oven, taking care to do so while I am also warming a macaroni pie so as not to waste the earth's precious natural resources.

6 comments:

BondWoman said...

Had you also heard that microwaves can affect your sperm count??? You are in any event obviously a wise man.

Kirk Elder said...

Heavens. I blush at the mention of my unmentionables. Needless to say, I have not felt the need to count them for some years now.

Mr K fae Morningside said...

A good friend of mine relocated from the sandstone of Morningside to the...wet stone of a damp flat in Peebles a number of years ago. Since when, he has become bald and bearded, although not yet a lady.

I wasn't sure if this was caused by moving to Peebles or his microwave but I am now reassured as to which.

Needless to say there is no microwave in this home, nor dishwasher. Patience and hard toil are my and Mrs K's tools.

I may have to consider getting my own internet log page if my comments continue at this pace.

BondBloke said...

I have had a think about this for 24 hours now and have decided that these would be a decidedly welcome addition to the Bond household as BondWoman is constanly plaguing me with her COLD hands...

Come o n in mr k fae of Morningside the more the merrier.

The Auntie Geist said...

A young man at the bus stop, a student mebbe frae the college, told me that the microwave oven uses far less electricity than a kettle, when compared performing an everyday action, such as boiling more water than was needed for your lonesome brew or your communal pot perhaps. But he wouldnae tell me how much less. Nor could he tell me whether this represented a net gain on the time and effort spent on mekkin em aw in the first place. Just bear it in mind now, Mr Elder.

Jackson D'Catur said...

they call themselves mittens, but do I see a tasteful piece of wool joining the two, to be carefully threaded up one's duffel coat sleeve, across the shoulders and down the opposite sleeve by one's mum? No, I do not! They are therefore NOT proper mittens, but cheap two-fingered gloves masquerading as mittens. I will have none of their heated charms!