Mr Jean van de Velde Should Not Have To Shave His Legs In Order To Prove That Women's Lib Has Gone Too Far (Again)

I would not, I confess, be able to tell the difference between a cleek and a mashie niblick, but I was encouraged by the news that the eccentric French golfer, Mr Jean Van de Velde - whose decision to paddle in the burn at Carnoustie in 1999 almost caused Mr Peter Alliss to drop the Bisodol and reach for his blunderbuss - is to apply to play in the Ladies' Open golf championship. Mr Van de Velde's action has been inspired by the decision of the Royal and Ancient Golf Club to allow women to participate in the men's event. The French golfer has offered to shave his legs and wear a kilt if required. We must hope that he is not forced into such a drastic course of action. A swinging sporran could play havoc with his putting stroke.
Of course, it is absurd that a men should expect to play in a ladies' sport. Why, though, is it expected that a woman should be allowed to compete against the men? To think that they should is to deny the facts of physiology. There are some things women are not suited for. Championship golf may be one of them. Keeping secrets is another.
Frankly, I am still getting used to lady newsreaders. There is something about the arched eyebrow of Ms Fiona Bruce which impairs understanding of the situation in the Middle East.